Without realising it, I actually ended the series (not in this post). I was like OMG! What have I done?

But fret not! The series continue. Only in smaller parts which I laughed everytime I wrote them down.

Not to divulge further ^^. Enjoy!

Revisit 20: Little Too Late

Jojo

“You have got to be joking?” I questioned, disbelief at his words.

He shook his head. “It’s not what you think,” he assured. “I’m giving you options to get out of this mess.”

“If you marry me, as the CEO of Takeneda Corp, it will make the reporters go away and you will never have to encounter what had happened a while ago. I can assure that your life will go on as normal as it usually would.” 

“If in the end you feel that your life is better than staying married to me, I welcome a divorce. It will be a silent one and I won’t come up with excuses to ruin your reputation. It will be on good terms.” 

He looked me in the eyes and held my hands which were clasped around the glass I was holding. “But have you ever thought of me as a man and not as your student?” he asked. I looked away, not knowing how to reply him. My action showed it all. I have only thought of him as a student and a conversation partner. 

“I lied when I told you the reason I was taking lessons,” he admitted as he released his hold of my hands. He walked to the sliding windows which overlooked the city. He looked outside, at the view, unable to face me. “I remember seeing you and Hiro-kun at a playground. The both of you were playing happily and I envied the man behind those smiles. I always wondered if I will ever have such a good faith to have such a pretty wife and an adorable son.” 

“I saw you again heading to the eikawa. I wasn’t sure where I caught you but I couldn’t resist but to follow you from behind. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a stalker. But there was something about you that caught my eye. What was it again? Yes, your smile.” 

“I followed you to the eikawa and wondered what you were doing there. I thought you were a student, never a teacher. I thought it might be awkward if I joined the same class as you do, even thought I had no idea which class you were in. Then I asked the receptionist about the lady who had walked in earlier and was told that you were a teacher at the school. I was more curious. An Asian teaching English? I had my doubts.” 

“Then we met. Remember then? It was awkward but that after smile took my breath away.” 

Then he turned around. “You see, I fell in love with you the first time I saw you smile, even though you might have a husband and a child. I felt guilty for loving you for I won’t be able to obtain your heart. Then you told me that you weren’t married.” 

***** 

We kept quiet after that. I glanced at my watch and realised it was getting late. I stood up and excused myself to find Hiro. Yoshiro did not turn around to see me. 

I found Hiro napping on the dining table. I woke him up gently. He rubbed his sleepy eyes and held out his hands to be carried. After all that had happened, both of us needed a hug. 

“Let’s go to Qing Qing yee yee’s place tonight,’ I told him, hoping that there was room for us tonight. He nodded and we turned around to see Yoshiro leaning against the hallway.

“I’ll send you there,” he said.

“It’s fine. We have bothered you too much today.”

He knew it would be hard to argue after what he had said. “Just call me when you reach.” 

***** 

Hiro and I walked to the nearest train station and make our way back. Throughout the entire journey, we were both quiet. I did not know what to tell him either. 

I switched on my mobile and see the number of miss calls and messages from Satoshi, all of them asking where Hiro and I were and to call him back. But I did not have the heart to. I felt tired. First of him and now this. I cannot imagine what will happen if I agreed to his proposal. Will I get a normal life? 

It was getting dark and I held on to Hiro’s hand tightly. Emotions were stirring inside of me. I knocked on the familiar door and jie jie greeted me with a smile. Before I could say anything else, I felt tears clouding my vision. Jie jie took hold of Hiro’s hand and called out for Keiji-san and Yuuki-tan. They went to the convenient store while I sat on the couch beside jie jie, crying. Ah yee went on with her usual business and made dinner. 

“It’s alright,” she assured me after I told her what had happened. “But have you thought about your own happiness? This Yoshiro-san seems to be a good man.” 

“Sometimes, it’s good to have someone love you more than you love him.” 

***** 

Mama is crying and I know why. It is because of Satoshi-jisan. I wanted to hug mama like she always does when I cry but I could not. My hands were too small to. I can only hold on to her hand tightly as she cried in front of Qing Qing ah yee. 

Qing Qing ah yee made me go to the convenient store with Keiji-jisan and Yuuki-neechan. I did not want to but Qing Qing ah yee gave me money to buy candy for mama. She said I was the only one who knew what candy mama liked. 

I followed Keiji-jisan and Yuuki-neechan reluctantly. When we got to the store, I walked around, looking for things that will cheer mama up. There were her favourite ha-pi pan and ko-ra lollypops. 

When I was going to pick up a chocolate bar from the lowest rack, I felt my pocket vibrate. It was the mobile mama got for me for emergencies. I saw the name on the display. It was Satoshi-jisan. 

“Moshi moshi? Hiro-kun?” Satoshi-jisan’s voice called out from the other side. I kept quiet. There were so many things I wanted to say but could not.

“Hiro-kun?”

“Doushite?” I heard myself asking. “Why do you always make mama cry?”

Satoshi-jisan did not answer me.

“Gomen ne, Hiro-kun,” I heard him apologise in a small voice. 

“Hiro-kun, kaeru yo!” called out Yuuki-neechan.

“Bye bye,”  I told Satoshi-jisan but he did not hang up. I can still hear him calling out as I closed the lid.

“Hiro-kun? Ima wa doko? Mama wa?”

“Hai! Matte yo!” I called out to Yuuki-neechan, grabbing mama’s favourite chocolate bar with fruits and nuts. 

Although I like Satoshi-jisan a lot, I cannot forgive him for making mama cried. Even if he was Hiro’s real papa. 

***** 

He did not expect to get through Hiro’s phone. He was on the verge of going crazy as Misheru did not reply him nor did he manage to get his calls through. He had gone to their apartment but when he saw a bunch of reporters waiting at the road side, he knew they were not there. He tried to figure out where they might be as he sat by the sidewalk. Hiro’s number was his last hope. 

He really did not know how to reply to his question. “Doushite?” 

All he could do was apologise. Like he always does. Back then and even now. 

He asked himself if he can really give them the happiness they deserve. It seemed that all he can do was make Misheru cry and Hiro upset with him. 

“Argh!  Zakenna!” he cried out, startling passersby. 

***** 

Maya was watching from a distance. She had been following him since he left the agency and was waiting for the right time to comfort him. But she knew she could not after what she had done. She made that call that triggered all this. 

“It was all her fault,” she muttered under her breath. 

***** 

 “What do you think of Uncle Yoshiro?” I asked Hiro as I shampooed his hair.

“He looks a nice person,” he answered with his eyes closed.

“Would you like him as a papa?”

“Like Ed papa?”

“No, a real papa.”

“As long he doesn’t make mama cry.” 

Hiro was sound asleep when I went downstairs. Yoshiro was standing by his car, about to light a cigarette.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” I said. He put away the cigarette, startled. “Sorry for calling you out so late.”

“I couldn’t sleep anyway,” he said.

“I’ll go straight to the point. I have given thought to your proposal and I just want you to know that Hiro will always be my priority. All I ask is that you treat him like your own son.”

“Are you saying ‘yes’?” he asked, with a glint of hope in his eyes. I nodded. He was about to embrace me when I put my hands out.

“I’m still unsure of my feelings now but give me time. I can learn to love you but just don’t rush me,” I said, feeling guilty. He nodded and ignored my hands, giving me a tight hug.

“I promise you that I will make you and Hiro-kun happy, if that’s all I have to do.” 

***** 

The next day, we went back home after Yoshiro told us that it was alright to. True, there were no reporters. The apartment manager was sweeping the front yard and was glad to see us both alright. He said that the reporters had waited all night long but were asked to leave by the police just an hour ago. 

I made breakfast and we sat down to eat in silence. Then my mobile rang.

“Moshi moshi, Misheru desu,” I answered the unknown number.

“Misheru-sama? Matsushima desu. Takeneda-sama no kana desu,” said Matsushima-san. “I’m calling to check if everything’s alright.”

“Yes. We are both fine.”

“That’s great to know. I called to inform you that Koda-san will be picking you and Hiro-kun up around 2pm.”

“Eh?”

“Takeneda-sama is holding a press conference to announce your engagement. Congratulations.”